Saturday, June 6, 2020

Forgot About Kim

I've had a real shitty week, period. One of the things I battle the most in this life is coming in last when I've always held the lead in the race. Let me explain ... I tend to give effort, A LOT of it; whether the task is work related or personal, one thing for sure, Kim is coming through surpassing expectations. It's just who I am, a part of my brand per se. It's not something that I want to change or something I want a hand clap for; all I want is credit when credit is due. This week has served me up a warm, stinky plate of shit when I have secured all the ingredients of a 5-star meal. The bait and switch was the fact that all that securing wasn't for me to enjoy the delicious meal, yet it was for me to relieve and wipe the shit after someone else has enjoyed the fruits of my effort. All I got was the after effect and as you can see, the after affects of a great meal is a good healthy shit.

As much as I have prayed and processed this feeling yet again, all I really wanted was some moral, empathetic support from my loved ones. Now don't get me wrong, I have a few great friends who came through with support, from blueberry wine and blackberry scrub to a humid night in the pool with laughter. I appreciated it greatly but my human nature craved for the support of those closest to me. Which ended up in epic failure. The support I sought was given a backseat to their own priorities. Whether it was baking a cake or working on a car, Kim got put to the back of the bus. Now these are the very ones who get the optimum effort from me whenever they have any kind of issue that requires support whether it be financial, emotional, or support requiring me to act; I'm typically on it before they can even ask. But look what I got ... dismissed quickly and made an after thought.

The latter half of 2020, I'm going to focus and direct my energies on myself. I have wasted too much time and effort on solving others problems instead of understanding why I forget about mine so unhesistantly to a point where it's unhealthy. You see, the shit I have been served has been subconsciously conjured up by none other than Kim.

Oh dear Kim, oh have I forgotten all about you!
Now it's time for me to look in the mirror and say, "o sis, you're my boo"!

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