Casting the first stone

I know I have been blogging a lot lately, but this is MY blog and I’ll blog if I want to J ! But for the last time (I promise), Michael Vick is the topic of discussion. Because I was at work today, I was unable to view his public statement live until now. He looked extremely sad and it is obvious that he is not a public speaker, but nevertheless, he stood like a man and apologized and pointed no fingers at anyone and for that, he deserves some credit. I will admit that I laughed when he said he found Jesus in all of this. Now I am not perfect neither is anyone else, but the reactions from the media and from the general public has me a little dismayed at this point. How can anyone really point any fingers at Vick? I will never condone any illegal activity regardless of who it is, even if it’s me, and I have put myself in some dangerous situations during my lifetime, but to take someone’s career away? I just don’t think it’s just. I have personally drunk too much and gotten behind the wheel of my car, and for that, I was dead ass wrong. And to me, drinking and driving has far worse consequences of raising pit bulls for illegal dog fighting. So you won’t see me adamantly going off about Vick and saying that he needs to lose everything he has based on an error in judgment. A lot of people are saying that he should be an upstanding role model because he is a public figure and plays in the NFL making millions, but I say; take a closer look at NFL players over time. The NFL is full of convicted felons, rapists and thieves! If you ask me how I rank the slew of felonies, dog fighting will be at the very end of the list. How can the public be so harsh towards a stellar athlete with a clean criminal record at such a tender age of 27? It is as if we are walking among saints! And we all know that is not true. But I am quite disgusted with this entire situation and dwelling on it only makes me feel worse, so I am going to “let it go” for there is nothing I can do to make things better besides pray. I will end with this centuries old saying straight from the Good Book, and it goes a little something like this: He without sin…………

Nigger and other words that hurt

I have been debating whether or not to voice my opinion on this issue, but after I watched Oprah's "After Imus" show, I felt as if I must. It seems like Hip Hop is now the new target for their misogonistic and derogatory lyrics, videos and artist persona. And just by watching the show, I got upset all over again. But you may be surprised as to why I am upset. In this world, there is no 100% right and no perfect people walk this great land, but by the way people point fingers, its as if we as black people are walking around here with blinders on. Once again, we are playing out the old slave mentality of going against each other as if we are the enemy. To go after recording artists in the hip hop or rap genre is ludicrous to me. Anyone with any knowledge of "da business" knows damn well the power that creative directors and industry execs have over the careers and images of those in hip hop. So to start attacking artists who aren't with being broke, is not a smart thing to do. The problem lies within the black community. The moment we allowed ourselves as a people to fulfill the stereotypes and accept certain ways of life within our homes and lives, there is where the problem began. Somewhere along the road, we as a people accepted single parent families and bringing children into the world outside of the reigns of marriage. Somewhere along the road, pursuing higher education or maintaining a job didn't become a priority. Somewhere down the road, respect and dignity for oneself became thrown by the wayside. And that my dear, is where we went wrong and the flood gates blew wide open. Somehow, the affluent black person got too busy to reach down and help their own kin or become a tool to uplift his/her own. Somehow, the struggling black person, forgot his/her worth and began to wallow in their pain and we all know misery loves company. We have to accept the responsibilty that we made it okay for the word nigger to be used widespread, and women to be referred as bitches, whores, sluts and okay for young women of color to be scantily dressed on a daily basis okay, when we know good and well its not. Damn the man or woman who says that they are not a role model. In these days, we have to be role models for adults too! Folks minds are so impressionable and some folks are trying their damnest to keep up with the "Joneses" that its not even funny. Its time to stand up and state boldy what you represent and who you are. As for me, I am a woman of faith, respect and responsibility if I am anything at all. Those are the 3 things that has catapulted me to where I am today. And its time we voice that so those around you will know how you got on the right track and stay on it. It's not some big mystery, its not a big secret. The spoken word has so much power, please learn to use it. You never know who is struggling and its so easy to get caught up in the easy fixes (sex, lies & videotapes), and those easy fixes in life lead to self destruction. We have been so busy dwelling in our hurt, that we have overlooked that we are about the only people on God's green earth that has hardly any unity, sit back and let folks make jokes about us, exploit us all over the media, and allow our youth to become products of their environments. Until the black American that pointing the finger at hip hop, start pointing the finger at him/herself, then I don't have any respect for their opinion. Start sweeping around your own front door, including your own families before you start blaming any outside influence on the degradation of black people. Just my two cents ya'll and I let it rest. Feedback is welcomed

What's the rush?

Let me begin by saying that I believe that every day is a gift and that we should be thankful for every good thing, memory or person that we have the opportunity to experience. What I do not understand is why people rush or shall I say hurry into things. I may be an alien or something, but when things feel really good to me, I immediately start pumping my brakes. I have witnessed people going full speed ahead without fully accessing the situation or relationship. I am not saying that one should not be excited or blissfully happy about someone or something, but for Christ’s sake, TAKE YOUR TIME. I know tomorrow ain’t promised to anyone but damn, some folks are betting it all without really knowing what it is or who it is that has them all warm, fuzzy & excited. I have found that for me personally, that when I go on blind faith based on emotions, I screw everything up completely and end up reflecting upon the situation with sad eyes and memories. I’ve learned that anything worth having is worth nurturing. Take your time and enjoy what it is or who it is that has you so snowed, let the feeling and excitement grow. I have a very good friend who is about to be married in less than two weeks and she and her fiancé dated for over 5 years. People were in her ear telling her to get married and to go on and start her life with him like yesterday, but instead, she followed her instinct and allowed their love to grow. And trust me, when you see them, you feel the love, its contagious! And that is the kind of love that endures all. I have another example, one of my good friends first experience the desire to become an officer at the company he loved for about 4 years ago, and he was trying to force it so hard. He was trying to strategically place himself within the eyes of those that could make it happen for him so much that he was neglecting everything else in his life. Once he settled down and focused on doing the best job that he could and allowed himself to be groomed, he got that position. Not only is he respected and trusted, he is well liked now. The minute he stopped trying to force things, they happened just like they were supposed to. So this goes out to all the people who want something or someone and find themselves anxious or ready to dive right in without thoroughly thinking about it, please sit back, relax, and be. I find that it helps when I right things down on a piece of paper to make it plain. Once I’ve identified what I want, I ask for guidance and just let it go from there, don’t force anything. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.

Connections

You have to be very careful of who you allow in your life. I am not saying that you need to be snobbish of stuck up, but you need to be selective. The connections you make with others are directly associated with what happens in your life from day to day. Connections can be both verbal and nonverbal. When I sit here and recall times in my past where I was really happy and times where I was really sad, I recognize the connections with the people in my life at those times. Some of the best memories I have are connected to people with whom I have the best connections with; positive people, like family and lifelong friends. And those connections had nothing to do with money or worldly things. They all had to do with laughter, fun, positive thinking, aspirations, serious truthful conversations, and happiness. When I reflect upon the worse periods in my life, I can easily recall the people that were in my life at that time, and all of them were negative connections. Those people were of unequal yoke. Times when I experienced, loneliness, sadness, constant drama was associated with some very negative people even if there were a plenty of worldly benefits involved. It is some time to identify all your connections with others to shed light on where you are spiritually, emotionally and psychologically. When you become conscious of your connections, it becomes easy to identify what people are good for you and what people aren’t. All plugs won’t fit in the same socket. It is time to start investing time in developing connections with people who bring out the best in you and time to decrease the connections with those who bring out the worse in you. You will know when it is time to cut communication with others. When people you are around aren’t happy when you are showered blessings or favor or never have anything positive to say or provide in your life, it is time to pull the plug. Take a refrigerator for example, if it is plugged into a socket with no electrical connectivity, it may look the same on the outside but on the inside, everything is rotting and spoiling. It becomes unusable if there is no connection. A lot of people are walking around here looking perfectly the same on the outside, but inside they are dying. Seek to be a positive connection to those you encounter, if you find yourself unable to do that, you need to reconsider being connected to that person, because if you are not helping them, you are hurting them.

Catch & Release

Lately I’ve decided to finally work on a vice of mine, and that is to stop talking so damn much!! I have the tendency to be a very open person and my life is relatively an open book. There ain’t too much about me that I am not willing to reveal even if its somebody else’s business. I honestly feel like if you have to hide something, then you don’t need to be doing it. I also know that only God can judge me, and at the ripe ole age of 30, I really am not concerned about what others think or say about me (okay, well my parents still does have that power…). I’d also like to add that I am not grudgeful, I can forgive people easily, besides we are only human. But I’ve realized that when people trust me with some issues or situations and ask that I not repeat them or use their personal experience as one of my examples, I need to respect that with no questions or no slip ups. I understand that everybody is not like me nor do I need to convert any people into Kimdroids, so I am officially taking on a new lease. For the past few weeks, I’ve been practicing catching and releasing. I’ll go into detail, what I am doing is taking in the information, giving my opinion, and letting it go. Once I’ve said my two cents or gave my initial thoughts, I am letting the information go. I am serious. I have stopped dwelling on the situation of others (especially at work). I’m actually enjoying it, my road rage has even decreased dramatically because of this newfound attitude I’ve taken on. This process allows me to rid myself of the news, rather it be good or bad. It has also allowed me to focus on more important things in my own life and that is identifying areas that I need to work on in my own personal life. I have some bad habits that I need to break; one of them is overextending myself at work. I’ve found that you can get so caught up in the motions of others and neglect taking a good look at your own self. I am constantly evaluating and discovering ways in which I can be better, instead of being like Fabo, I’m trying to make my own self better!

Blessings or Bullshit

I’ve had too many conversations this week with either friends or family members about being happy. I discovered that many people that I consider to be sane and competent must be really confused or lost on this road we called life. First of all, you must make a decision to either allow bullshit or blessings into your life. Which one is it going to be? You cannot have both and be happy, sorry. Whoever said that lied to you. Even if the Father chooses to shine down upon a certain area of your life, it another area is full of shit, then guess what? It still is gonna stink. I am about to step on some toes right now, but I only write this because it’s true. If you want to stop all lies and deceit, then you must stop lying and being deceitful. If you want a decent man or woman in your life, then guess what? Get rid of all the indecent ones first. And let me stress, GOD WILL NOT GIVE YOU SOMEBODY ELSES MAN OR WOMAN. And another thing, there are lot of people I know who say that they can’t seem to have any order or structure in their lives. How you gonna have order and structure when you can’t stay in one job or one place long enough? Believe me, it all starts within. And a lot of us got some issues that we are dealing with ourselves that needs to be resolved or changed. If you want anything good in your life, you have to get in the habit of doing and BEING good yourself. Many of us aren’t letting God bless us, we are getting in our own way. Get rid of all the bullshit so you can make room for the blessings. But then again, there are a lot folks out here who enjoy bullshit because they have never been able to see and receive blessings and I am gonna pray for you. I only wish that we didn’t chase waterfalls. Ultimately, you have to decide what you want… be it blessings or be it bullshit …let’s learn to get out of our own way.